Megarock

Featuring Jack Frost (Seven Witches, Bronx Casket Co.), Mike Lepond (Symphony X), Walter Figueroa (Attacker, Severed Hand), Taz Marazz (Seven Witches, Chris Volz).

Tonight’s special guest: Metal Mike Chlasciak (Sebastian Bach, Halford, Painmuseum)

The somewhat, kinda, sorta true story of New Jersey based hard rock/metal cover band Megarock.

It was 1989, my thoughts were short, my hair was long … oops, wrong words. Actually, it was 1987 and the biggest freakin’ rock band on the planet, Megarock were touring Japan (Megarock is UBER popular in Japan, not so much in America). One night after an exciting and incredible performance, the three members of Megarock: Mike Lepond, Taz Marazz, and Jack Frost (Where did they get these names anyway?) were partying to the wee hours of the morning in their super huge, super expensive (so expensive it actually kept them in debt … forever) tour bus. In the midst of the debauchery, Jack heard a faint knock on the door of the tour bus. He opened the door and found something very unexpected. In a small basket, wrapped in white blankets was a small baby that couldn’t have been more than a few weeks old. Also in the basket was a letter saying “I am unable to take care of this poor child. Please parent this young boy and take good care of him.” Jack, very surprised and slightly disappointed there was a baby rather than a bodacious blonde at the front door, decided to carry the baby inside to show the rest of the Megarock what he had found.

The rest of the guys were at first worried Jack had knocked up a groupie, but fortunately this baby was not one of the likely many lives Jack had started around the world. The guys felt bad for the baby and decided to let him live in the tour bus and raise the boy to become the greatest rockstar of all time (grandiose ideas like this are common after many hours of drugs, alcohol and other rocker-like activities). They ditched the white blankets and gave the little infant a small leather jacket. They were advised to feed the baby milk, but found that to be “gay” and instead the young baby’s bottle was always filled with Jack Daniels only. During the shows when the guys were busy, they entrusted their friend, stripper, and live-in band groupie, Kandy to babysit the child. The Megarock guys decided to name the child Walter Figueroa (they refuse to explain why to this day) and groomed the young boy to become the greatest rock vocalist of all time (that or at least a better than REALLY bad rock vocalist).

Walter certainly had qualified mentors to help him learn the ways of rock n’ roll. Mike, Jack and Taz were all very experienced and very credible warriors of music to help craft Walter into a most righteous rock and roll soldier. Jack Frost had toured the world and played in front of audiences of thousands with all kinds of totally huge, totally gnarly metal and rock bands. Some of the acts he’s appeared with include: Savatage, Lizzy Borden, Bronx Casket Company, Joey Belladonna’s solo band, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest and Queen … yeah, maybe I made the last three up … but maybe I didn’t.

Jack isn’t the only one who has earned his metal stripes. Taz Marazz has been all over the place with his out-of-control drum antics. A matter of fact, in 1989 Taz jammed several times with the one and only Axl Rose of Guns N’ Roses. Axl even asked Taz to join Guns N Roses! Taz decided to decline Axl’s offer, though, because he knew it was his destiny to remain with Megarock and make Megarock the biggest band of all time (yeah … that or he just got REALLY drunk and forgot to give Axl his phone number J).

Last but not least is the extremely gifted, extremely extreme bass-monster known as Mike Lepond. Mike is so precise, so technical, so unrelentingly good that he can smoke any other metal bass player of all time … and if you don’t believe me, just ask him! Mike currently is also playing with the overlords of progressive metal, Symphony X, but in his spare time he likes to imagine he is a medieval warrior in a vast field battling fire-breathing dragons. He also REALLY likes Manowar … and I mean A LOT … maybe a bit too much if you know what I mean.

It is now 2009 and Walter has astonishingly survived to the age of 21. Walter is a true rock and roll, metal warrior and any rumors that he loves listening to Rihanna, Kanye West and Dashboard Confessional are completely untrue and unfounded … and those pictures on the internet of him dancing in his room to Britney Spears are totally fake and photoshopped, got it? Walter is now handing the position of lead vocalist for Megarock and the band is on a rampage of the whole world (or the tri-state area), unleashing their rock and roll fury on anyone lucky or unlucky enough to be at one of their shows. Make sure to check all the time to see when Megarock is playing near you because Megarock isn’t just a cover band … they are a super-duper, obnoxiously amazing cover band that will rock your metal socks off.